Tiger Wood's Christmas

[Grainne]

Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse
She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry
Cause a bimbo's phone number was in his Blackberry
He'd been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed
He'd been cheatin' with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori
With Joselyn, and Kalika - the world had the story
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues
Tiger's sad sordid tale was all over the news
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts
Despite all his cryin' and beggin' and pleadin'
Tiger's wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade
"If you're gettin' laid then I'm gettin' paid."
She's not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year